Maxed Out-We can all relate

Here's a scenario that I think most moms can relate to (even if its just in part):

• 6:30am - 7am - take out the dog, get showered and ready for work
• 7am-7:30am - get dressed, get my daughter's lunch packed, ensure she has everything she needs in her backpack for the day. Pack my bag and run to grab the bus to work.
• 7:30-8am - bus ride to work where I catch up on my social media, read my emails and if I have time play a round of candy crush (damn that level 91!).
• 8am- noon - at my desk working, answering emails, going to meetings, calling or meeting with clients.
• Noon-1pm (lunch) - If its Monday, I go to a spin class. Otherwise I work through my lunch so I can leave early.
• 1-3:30pm - back at my desk, same as my morning.
• 3:30pm - 5pm - run commute to home.
• 5 - 5:30pm - clean up any mess left by the dog, grab a quick shower, sort out my backpack and my daughter's for the next day.
• 5:30-6pm - cook supper (yup, almost 6 days a week I try to make sure we don't eat out).
• 6-6:30pm - family dinner
• 6:30 - 7pm - homework/reading or speech practice with my daughter
• 7 - 7:30pm - either get my daughter in the bath or finish a load of laundry (damn-I forgot to put on in the washer this morning!)
• 7:30 - 8pm - bedtime story and bed patrol
• 8 pm - 11pm - husband and wife time; watching tv, calling our parents or figuring out our family schedule of upcoming events.

And that's my week day. Notice how there isn't any time in there for most chores-those are done on the fly, whenever I get a minute and/or the inclination to sweep, dust, windex or scrub a tub. I'm pretty maxed out as some would say, but I've learned to live in this little world and I'm happy in it with my family. But...as author Katrina Alcorn points out in her new book Maxed out: American Moms on the Brink, the factors that push us  from ‘everything’s fine’ to ‘total collapse,’ it’s a fine line. "Sometimes it’s having a child with special needs. Sometimes it’s having that second or third kid, or having the first. A lot of times I've heard change in management, getting a new boss, pushes them over."

Currently I'm in the sticky situation of the company I work for being bought by another company. No one knows 100% who will join the new company and who will be laid off so there is a great deal of stress around my workplace right now. My husband has been so supportive I think I may have cracked a bit if it weren't for him and his reassurance we will be okay. Not every woman is that lucky or has a husband/second income to lean on if needed.

I remember when I was going through the stress of having a new baby in the house. As first time parents both my husband and I were "on the brink" on occasion. When our mothers would chide the old advice of "letting go of my standards" I didn't know what the hell they meant. My standard of house cleaning had already gone out the window, so what were they referring to? Then I realized why I didn't understand and why they didn't understand me. When I was young my mother (and my mother in law) could afford to be a stay at home mom. The didn't have the additional stress of bringing in a much needed income or dealing with on-the-job stress everyday while still being a full time mom to an infant.(Although I have to admit my mother did have to deal with the stress of being a single mom to two teenagers-and she certainly could write a book of her own about those experiences!)

As I see it, the new reality of parenthood is striking that balance. And that doesn't mean somehow finding the perfect 50-50 split on everything. Sometimes it means giving 20% to your job to give 80% to your family. Other times it means my husband has to forgo his evening treadmill run to help out with homework or the bedtime ritual so I can get a work proposal done. The one truth I know that helps us find that balance is communication. If my husband and I aren't on the same page everything goes out of whack. We've both come to realize a strong partnership is the only way to manage the family balance.

The Changing Tides of Work

This past Friday I left work with a laundry list of tasks set for the next week; finish my part of a proposal to another company, send off a media request for a piece of courseware I designed earlier that day, finish storyboarding a topic for another project, etc. I was glad to be productive after a bit of a work slump in the office lately. Then, over the weekend, I got a call from a coworker pointing me to an article on LinkedIn announcing the company I worked for Friday was now absorbed by a competing company. The company I had worked for for over 6 years was no more. In a couple of days I went from being an integral part of my department's team to being unsure if I would even have a job the next day. How quickly things can change in the corporate world.
Thankfully I have a planner for a husband who assured me that even if the worst were to happen that we would get through the next couple of months just fine. That helped get me on my way to work this morning and although I knew it was probably the most important day for me to be there part of me really didn't want to walk through the doors and see what was left of a once vibrant and innovative company. Then I realized, with communication as traditionally poor as it is with this company, nothing would probably be said and if people were laid off there would probably be unceremonious pink slips under our doors. Thankfully the worst case scenario didn't happen and, for now, I'm back at my desk trying to focus (unsuccessfully) on my list of tasks for this week.
When crisis at work happen I will often re-trace my steps as to how I got here and evaluate of this was the right path for me. I gave up a secure vice principal job at a private school (that paid horribly and had unreasonable demands and long hours) to go into the private sector. I didn't take a public school teaching job because I knew how political and unionized the whole public school teacher gig is and that no matter how great a teacher I could be I would never be rewarded for it, never make more than a teacher with the same number of years in that sits on their duff all day getting kids to fill out worksheets. Nope, not for me. This company has helped me develop alot of skills I never would have developed as a teacher, I have the privilege to meet and work with innovative, brilliant people as co-workers and clients and I have developed courseware that will be used for years to come. I actually really love my job, I just hate the politics.
In the past the average adult would work for one maybe two companies in their whole working lives. Company loyalty meant something. Now if a worker stays for more than 3 years that's considered a long time. I've got an average of about 7 years, with that anniversary in this company slowly approaching. Will I still be here in a month-or six? The next few weeks will tell the story I guess.