The Office Wench

An old friend recently posted an article about how women are somehow expected to clean the office and ensure everyone's birthdays are celebrated with a cake they provide. To that I say, PLEASE. I honestly feel this stems from women being brought up as "people pleasers" and that translates into the office environment as adults. They see a sink full of dishes and instead of walking away and going back to the job they were hired to do, they spend 10 minutes cleaning the dishes. If there is a big meeting some women stay behind to clean up the room, instead of leaving the office to return home like their male counterparts. Women volunteer to be on various committees with the false impression that this volunteering at work will actually matter when it comes time for their personnel review. Laughable if it wasn't so so true. I wised up to this after two years of being one of the office wenches. I cleaned, thinking, well I'm washing my own container so what's 10 more? I brought in cake thinking others would appreciate it-they appreciated it for the 30 seconds it took for them to eat said cake. I was on social committees until I noticed it was never brought up in my review so clearly my managers could care less. Women need to stop being the office Mom, or wench, or whatever name you want to call it. Man up. Stop cleaning. Do what you were hired to do, if you need a refresher check out your contract (I doubt kitchen duty and birthday cakes are on it). Attend your project related meetings and any others that you feel could contribute to your career. You aren't at home, so act like it. I've even gone so far as to look up social queues men subconsciously do when they are in meetings so I could stand out more. Here's a simple hint. Next time you go into a meeting have a look at the men and the women and how they situate their papers. Men usually spread out their papers so everything is in view and in reach. Women will try to make their "footprint" as small as possible (gosh, we don't to bother anyone now do we), and stack their papers neatly in a single pile in front of them. This sends clear social queues to the people in the meeting, believe it or not. How you hold yourself also sends messages. Men will often lean forward and have their arms on the office table in a meeting, or sit far back and look introspective. Women tend to sit rigidly, keeping their hands folded on their lap, or on top of that pile of paper in front of them. This makes women appear more passive, less involved in what is being discussed. Men on the other hand look much more engaged in the discussion because their body is sending signals to everyone around them that they are actively listening and participating. This is not sexism. It is how our gender roles have evolved over time and in our various societies. Women need to realize this stuff and get a grip on it and stop whining about how unfair it all is, (here's another hint, its unfair because you've made it unfair on yourself). Now all this is not to say there are not asshole managers and sexism out there. I think in the majority of cases though women need to take 10 steps back and see their behaviors and attitudes towards things in the office for what they are-issues they have created for themselves. Real female power comes from facing this fact and reality and stepping up to counteract it whenever we can. So stop doing the dishes. Clean what you own and that's it. If its someone's birthday that's up to that person's family to celebrate it-isn't it? Stop cleaning up after meetings, your office should have actual paid cleaners to do this job and if they don't and you are expected to do it, then you should evaluate your job contract and see if extra compensation should be included for cleaning duties. That's it. Then, and only then will we women be on the same playing field as our male counterparts. Until then, just stop the whining, some of us have work to do!